I sweat a lot when I work out. Like, more than anybody I know.
When I played Little League baseball, my coaches and teammates used to laugh because the brim of my cap was always soaked to the max. I get hot in general. I crank the air conditioning down at night when I sleep. I’m not thrilled with global warming, especially because I know it’s real and not just a hoax invented by the Chinese.
And so back in the 1990s, when I fell into a routine of taking step aerobics classes, I naturally had to deal with excessive perspiration issues. I was constantly wiping sweat from my eyes and face while trying to pay attention to whatever moves I needed to mimic to avoid making a complete fool of myself. My solution was to purchase a black head band.
Note that I said “a” black head band. The singular article will soon be important.
I started wearing the head band every time I took an aerobics class. I might not have bothered to actually toss it into the washing machine. And I took 3-4 classes per week.
One Saturday, after getting dressed for class and putting my trusty head band into place, I walked into the aerobics room and found a place to stand. As I was waiting for class to start, I became aware of a strong odor in my vicinity. I moved about some, trying to get away from whomever it was that was stinking up the joint. But it seemed that wherever I traveled, the stink followed me. Finally, amid a horrifying epiphany, I casually slid off the headband and quickly sniffed it.
And promptly threw it into the nearest trash can. Later that day I purchased five new head bands, which I rotated through and tossed into the wash on a regular basis.
Enduring moral of the story: if you’re wondering why things stink, it might be because YOU stink. And let’s be real: We all stink sometimes!